How To Trust Again – Rebuilding Trust in Yourself After Emotional Verbal Abuse

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You may remember this hit single “War” from the 1970s with a little twist on the words.

Trust! Huh! Yeah!

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothin’! Say it again

This song came to mind when I thought about the word trust.

Soon after coming out of an abusive marriage, I would be asked if I was dating again. I looked at that person as if they asked me to swallow a cup of live bees.

How could I date again when I can’t trust my own judgment?

Have you been there in your own life?

During my recovery from verbal abuse, I was on a mission to rebuild my self esteem. Every book I picked up talked about this foreign concept called trust.

And how trust is so important to the healing process.

;You just have to trust yourself.” was the phrase I kept reading. My eyes would suddenly glaze over. All of a sudden I would hear the teacher on Charlie Brown talking “Wha ,wha, wha…” It just didn’t compute. How do you trust yourself?

Can you identify with this?

Let me see if I understand this correctly.This book wants me to trust myself after I trusted an abusive person to love me. I trusted myself over and over again. The result: my mate verbally assaulted me and apologized on a daily basis. It seems as though trusting myself got me into this mess in the first place.

How about you? In your abusive relationship, did you trust too much and pain was the result? Now you may have built up a wall closing off any possibility of trusting again. Protecting yourself from pain seems better than risking hurt.

Then I discovered the truth that I want to share with you today.

Your perception of trust wasn’t broken.

Love for yourself was broken.

You trusted more in the other person rather than your gut feelings. Each time you quieted the whisper of God in your soul that something was wrong, a part of your sense of self died.

Your need of approval overshadowed loving yourself. When you love yourself, trusting your decisions become easier.

You can trust yourself. It’s not too late. Why?

Because you are worthy of what you desire in life. Every decision you make is part of the process of building your muscles of trust. Just as lack of exercise can lead to weaker muscles, years of negative words and doubt, led to weaker trust muscles.

It;s time for a trust building workout.

This week consider making decisions and trusting your intentions rather than looking for a specific result. Many times we do things in order to get a result we have in mind.

And when the result isn’t what you wanted, you tell yourself that you “should” not have trusted yourself in the first place.

Start small and concentrate on the intention. God knows your heart. He applauds your effort. Will you start to applaud your effort today? You deserve it.


Source by Yukio Phillips

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