This article is written for women who either know or suspect that their husband is either having a physical or emotional affair. These wives will generally either know their husbands have a mistress or know that his heart or his head is with someone, or is somewhere else. No matter what the reality of the situation is, if your heart is telling you that something is wrong or off, it’s always a good idea to be proactive. I wish I had, but instead, I waited until the affair had already happened and was long over until I took action. This was a huge mistake on my part. This article will provide you with insight on why husbands really cheat, what they typically see in someone outside of the marriage, and what you can do to win your husband back from another woman who is dead set on destroying all that you have worked so hard to build.
Try To Be As Calm, Calculating, And Stable As Possible: The biggest mistake that I see wives making when they are trying to get rid of the other woman is that they panic and become a highly emotional, unstable person from whom to husband wants to get away from that much more. Husbands often find another woman attractive because she is open, laid back, doesn’t make huge demands, and makes herself seem understanding. So, you don’t want to appear the opposite of this and become a raging, demanding, insecure hanger on.
Yes, you’ve been dealt an awful hand right now and if your husband is cheating, he deserves to face you to work out your problems, but you won’t be able to do this until you get him away from her. So, in order to that you, you’ll have to keep your emotions in check so that you don’t push him further away from you and closer to her.
Don’t Allow Them To See You In A Negative Light: I know that you may feel like wearing your old tattered bath robe and holing up with a bottle of wine or a good chick flick right now, but don’t do this in front of your husband. Don’t try to guilt him or make him feel sorry for you. Don’t do anything that would make you appear weak, unattractive, and not in control.
You will need to get out and carry on. Have fun with your friends and make sure he knows about it. Work on your appearance and self confidence. In essence, your actions and words should be communicating the following to your husband (if course, you’re not going to come right out and say this, but here’s the idea): “You have made a mistake. I am an attractive, alluring, and busy woman. This will not beat me. I have other things with which to concern myself with. I love you and want our marriage to work, but I will not degrade myself to make this happen. When you are finished with this behavior, come to your senses, and realize what you are missing, let’s talk.”
I know this may seem like a tall order right now, but the last thing you want is for your husband and this other woman to see you as the poor, desperate housewife who is at home crying her eyes out. No, you want them to see you as a force to be reckoned with who deserves respect – and someone that is not going to bend and break just because of their actions.
Why Husbands Really Cheat: Why This Other Woman Is In Your Life: Many wives make the mistake of thinking that this other woman is younger, prettier, funnier, or sexier. This is so rarely the case (at least the prettier, funnier, and sexier part.) In truth, husbands cheat because they are lacking somewhere inside of themselves. In reality, it has very little to do with you – and usually even less to do with her.
It just means that at one point in time, this woman has some how tapped into some emotions or feelings of your husband that he feels has been lacking. Often, she will make him feel appreciated, alive, attractive, etc. She will likely make herself appear as something that is shiny, new, and irresistible. But, here’s the thing. This can only last so long. It’s so rare that a relationship between a husband and a mistress turns into a long term relationship, marriage, or something lasting. The vast majority of the time, this woman is only a bump in the road – an irritating and devastating detour – but one that is not lasting all the same.
Bide Your Time. And, Then Turn The Tables On The Other Woman: There are a few very important truths to understand here. Statistics show that most men turn out to be very sorry about and deeply regret their affair. They often very much wish they could take it back. Over time, they come to learn who this “other woman” really is, and very often, she’s only a mirage.
She will try to present herself as someone who’s light, easy, adventurous, and fun. But, this will fade. She can’t keep this up forever. Eventually, she’s going to start to make demands on your husband. She’ll want to know where he is, who he’s with, and what he’s doing.
And, suddenly, the novelty is going to wear off. And, your husband is going to realize his huge mistake and be very disappointed. He might be embarrassed and beaten. He may not be sure how to approach you or how you will react to him when that happens.
So where does this leave you? You’re there, if you want to be, with your self esteem, self worth, and open arms in tact, if this is what you decide.