So, you’ve done your research and summoned up the courage to have what I call “The Conversation” with your partner about taking those first few steps down the path of the male chastity lifestyle.
I call it “The Conversation” for obvious reasons, the most important one being you’ve got to tell her at some point about the game you want her to play. I’ll say more about all of this in a later email because it’s so important. But for now just realise three things:
- You won’t get what you want unless you’ve asked for it.
- You are going to have to ask for it.
- Once the cat is out of the bag, it won’t go back in again.
In the meantime, let’s continue.
The first thing I’ll say is… start with the end in mind. Although you don’t have to reveal everything you want and desire upfront – and doing so might even be so scary to your partner as to be counterproductive – you do need your ultimate desires firmly in mind.
So, if your goal is to be locked up in permanent chastity with orgasms only once a month, then everything you say, reveal and do should be aimed at making it happen eventually.
If you truly want to give your partner total, unfettered control of your orgasms, up to and including permanent orgasm denial (be careful what you wish for!), then this is the goal you need to focus on.
The reason for doing this is if you don’t know what you want, then you won’t be able to take the steps to get you there.
Many people say “I want to try male chastity” but don’t have any idea what they really mean.
This is a mistake, because once you start to have The Conversation, your partner is going to be asking questions like, “so… what exactly DO you want?“. This is even more likely once they start looking at all the information you’ve amassed (and you have amassed it, haven’t you?).
OK, with all that in mind, how do you start?
Well… as with all things, there’s more than one way to do it.
But more important than what you say, in many ways is when you say it.
So choose your moment. If you wait until she’s at her tetchiest time of the month and bring the subject up ten minutes before your mother is due to arrive for dinner, or she’s packing the kids off school, then don’t blame me if you get your head bitten off.
You’re much better off doing something romantic and making sure you’re both relaxed and in a good mood — say having a meal with a little wine (not too much, because alcohol reduces your ability to make sensible decisions and you’re both likely to make emotional decisions rather than logical ones). Or perhaps watch a romantic film or something to put you both in a more sexual mood (the film “9 1/2 Weeks” might be a good choice).
The important thing is to “lead up” to it all subtly. There’s also a funny story I need to share with you about this, too.
Don’t go overboard, but spend a few days before this being especially attentive and loving. If you’re a man, don’t be overtly sexual. We women hate that. We find it hard to separate love from sex, so if we get the sense you’re just being nice to have sex with us, then it’s a real turn off because it makes us feel cheap.
But if you’re a woman, being sexual, coquettish and somewhat teasing is a good idea. Remember, men and women come at this from different angles. If you, as a woman, give him the impression it’s all about denying his orgasms and getting him to do all the housework, unless he really is a submissive man, don’t be surprised at a frosty reception.
Once you’re in a mood where you think you might at least get a positive reception, it’s time to spit it out. So to speak. It’s tough, because there’s no easy way to do this. At some point you’ve got to say the words, and once they’re said, you can’t take them back.
If you’re too cagey and coy… he or she might actually be excited about the idea, but perceive you aren’t… so you’ll both perhaps actually want it, but both be too afraid to say. On the other hand, if you’re too in-your-face… you might scare her off.
Now, this is only the first part of the one-two.
The second part (and this is why I suggested you get your partner into a romantic and sexy mood)… I’ll share with you in another article, and reveal one way to easily and naturally take the idea of male chastity and actually put it into practice.