Your wife needs time apart. All you’ve been able to think about since she told you this is how painful it’s going to be to go through the process of divorce and to try and build a life that doesn’t include her. In all likelihood you can’t even get as far as imagining your life without her because you love her so much still. Naturally, you feel as though all hope for the relationship has disappeared because she obviously wants out of the marriage. It doesn’t have to go that route. You do have the power to revamp your relationship with the woman you married and become so emotionally connected to her she’ll never want to leave.
If your wife needs time apart from you take a deep breath before you try to convince her to stay. If you fight her right from the get go about a possible separation she’s going to feel as though her needs and opinions don’t matter at all to you. Instead of launching into a tirade about how she can’t leave, listen to her reasoning. Ask her why she feels that time apart is necessary and then really hear and absorb her answer. Until you can get a firm grasp on why she’s intent on taking some time away from you, you can’t move forward with trying to heal the marriage. It’s impossible to do that unless you’re clear on what she wants and needs from you.
Changing your attitude towards your wife and your marriage has to begin today. You need to treat all your time with her as a gift and let her know that you feel that way. Instead of focusing on the things that bother you about your wife, embrace the parts of her you love. Often, when a woman needs time apart it’s because she feels unappreciated or devalued within the relationship. If you’ve stopped trying to romance her, even if you’ve been married for years, she may feel emotionally neglected and that can cause a sense of disconnect which leads to feelings of being lost along with confusion about the future of the marriage.
Date your wife again. Ask her out for dinner. Bring her flowers and show her you truly do love her. These may seem like small or insignificant gestures given the gravity of what she’s feeling, but they can make a tremendous difference in the state of your relationship. If your wife truly feels she’s loved and cherished, she’ll feel less inclined to take time away from you.